Gilligan's Island Meets Porky's Cranked to ElevenReview by: The Audiobook Review
Sex, Lies and the Bomb by Anthony Vincent Bruno left me speechless. Absolutely mind blown by the end. After finishing this book, I looked through his other works and found them to be the polar opposite of his humorous end-of-the-world tale, so he's an astonishingly clever writer.
We start with the incredibly misogynistic Eddie Coltrane as he laments his fate, assuming he's going to get kneecapped by loan sharks in the near future. His fortune changes when he boards the "unsinkable" Dubai Diamond cruiseliner, which like all unsinkable ships before it... sinks.
True, it took a nuclear explosion to topple it, thanks to the end of the world coming in the form of mutually assured destruction. After hastily abandoning the ship, Eddie is stranded on a deserted island with only a crewmate and the twelve most recent Miss Fantasy World winners.
Our down-on-his-luck hero's luck seems to be changing. What follows is something like "Gilligan's Island meets Porky's" cranked to eleven. After becoming solely responsible for the earth's repopulation by bedding as many of the supermodels as humanly possible, things just keep on getting ratcheted up in the ridiculousness stakes.
All the girls want him. An unlimited supply of booze. Enough food and fresh water to keep them alive. Monkeys to do his bidding. Nothing about deserted island life is like books or movies. Everything is coming up Eddie.
Just when you think you hit peak silliness, author Anthony Vincent Bruno slam dunks in something even more unbelievable.
Look, this story is so many kinds of wrong, so it's not for the easily offended. C-bombs are dropped with wild abandon, and a good portion of each chapter is dedicated to how he's sexing up whichever lady is lusting after him. Eddie describes himself at one point as "the island ball-bag," which sums him up in more ways than one.
Yet, without knowing it, this becomes a "be careful what you wish for" story, with quite unexpected character growth by the end of the novel.
And no spoilers, but all the way through, I wondered how this could possibly end. It's safe to say that I was one-hundred percent blown away. Absolutely gobsmacked and lost for words.
The narration by Hedge T. Haiden was likewise outstanding. Responsible for at least 12 female characters with different accents, plus a variety of males, I thought he did a great job of it. Some very minor background noise on less than a handful of occasions, but nothing that pulled me out of the story.
I was given this audiobook at my request and have voluntarily left this review. I have not let this gift affect nor influence my opinions of this audiobook and have left an honest review.